I am a middle aged married woman. I find us in an impossible financial storm that was inevitable due to events beyond my control. In 2016 I moved my progressively ill mother in with the intention of being a good daughter and caring for her. Unfortunately I was not as well equipped as I thought I’d be to deal with my mom’s illness. She had dementia and Alzheimer’s as well as life long mental issues that resulted in her neglecting and abusing me my entire life until I was 48. But I love my mother. We only get one mother and understanding she had mental illness, that never stopped me from loving her and wanting to care for her. In 2018 her behavior became very aggressive and violent towards me yet I told myself I am going to take care of her because she’s my mom and I love her. About that time I met a kind man who cleaned up his life after a troubled past with drug addiction. He lost his first wife and knew he wanted to be married and settled down again as he was not the womanizer type of man that we see so much of today. Well, when my mother met him at first everything was great. We’d all have lunch and dinner together. He’d come to the house and we’d talk for hours in the back yard. It could not be more prefect. Then this man proposed to me. I was elated, but decided to talk to my mother in private to warm her up to it. I say this because my mother was always super super possessive of me and would fly into rages if she felt someone no matter who it was had my attention and not her. She’s been like this my entire life. So it’s not new. Well, she totally went off the deep end. Again my mom has had mental illness all her life. So her reaction was not a surprise to me. I figured if she did not accept me marrying this man and him moving into my home, as my mom lived with me in my home, that I would instead move into his apartment to keep everything peaceful. However none of those conversations had the chance to take place because my mother went off the deep end. She convinced my son with autism to purchase a gun to harm this man and myself. One day there was a confrontation in which my mother and my son physically attacked us both. Police were called and my mother and son were removed. As a consequence Due to this I instantly had to figure out how to pay all the bills on my own since my mother and son where no longer there to contribute their share. They had run the bills up substantially because neither of them worked. I was the only person in the household working. My mom had a pension. And my son would do what work he could find however him having autism made it tough. I never expected him to contribute however he would when he could. So I had to choose Steve. Enter Covid and Steve and I lost our jobs. Steve relapsed. For 4 years he stole everything not nailed down in the house to fuel his drug habit. I worked two full time jobs to keep the bills paid and to replace everything Steve was selling to pay for drugs. Eventually I got tired and had a consultation with a divorce attorney. At about that same time Steve lost our only car. Another drug addict took it and we never saw it again. I had to catch uber to work for months so as not to lose my jobs. I purchased a new car and Steve took it in the middle of the night to get high and lost that car. Finally I gave Steve a ultimatum and he put himself in rehab for 60 days. It took him over a year to find employment. During that time I have been working as much as possible up to 80 hours per week to keep the bills paid. Well later I found out while Steve was in relapse he did not file taxes and had several brushes with the law related to his drug use. Steve has been clean for two years now, he sponsors addicts a AA. He goes to AA meetings religiously 4 times per week. He regularly speaks at several rehab facilities. He also now is a minister. He has done a awesome job making amends and turning his life around. However everything he was doing while on drugs is coming back to haunt us at the worst time. My mother passed away a week ago and we have no money to attend the funeral because of financial obligations stemming from Steve’s past drug use that are coming up now two years later. The IRS is after me for Steve not filing taxes in 6 years simple because I am the responsible spouse. The IRS is threatening to garnish my paycheck. Because we are married, Steve’s 18k tax debt is now also my tax debt according to the IRS. We hired a tax attorney who we have to pay to keep the IRS off our backs until things are straightened out. Then the mortgage company contacted me to say they made a mistake on my 2022 and 2023 property taxes and did not send the correct tax information to the mortgage company. They said I owed them 14k in back property taxes and if not paid within 12 months they would foreclose on my home. In addition Steve had to hire a attorney with a 7k retainer to represent him for the actions that took place while he was on drugs. He found out about it when he was arrested on a outstanding warrant we knew nothing about on a speeding traffic stop. I had to shell out 2k to bail him out. He works as much over time as possible just as I do. However all of these bills are now due all at the same time this month. We both can only work overtime if it’s a available and right now we have maxed out and there is no more overtime available. So right now we are in a crunch because all of these expenses are hitting us at the same time of month and my mother just passed away and we have no money to attend her funeral out of state. The Tax attorney, the criminal attorney and the mortgage escrow, not mentioning we have no travel money to the funeral. We are $2000 Short. If we can make it to April 2025 we will be ok. But that 2k will be the difference of us making or not making it. The bank will reamoratize my mortgage in April due to the changes in annual property taxes and the escrow, the tax attorney will be paid off by then, and Steve should have his attorneys fees at least halfway paid off. I have been on my own since I was 17 and have never asked anyone for financial help because there was never anyone there for me. I have no friends or family other than my deceased mother and autistic son. So I have pretty much done everything by myself in my life with no help from anyone. Right now I have exhausted my credit cards, my credit limits. There is nowhere to go at this point to get up the $2000. So I am here asking if anyone can contribute anything it would be greatly appreciated. I feel a sense of embarrassment and failure for having to ask strangers for charity but I do not know what else to do. Steve also has no family. His parents pasted away two years ago. So it’s just us. We’ve worked marathons hours to prevent this however we just could not get enough overtime to get over this financial hurdle.
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