Had No Chance to Grieve Properly...Do Principals Matter Anymore?
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May 14th 2020 our mother passed and my siblings that my biological father raised walked passed him without saying a word. After witnessing this, it was from that point that there would be difficulties. As soon as the mortuary drove away with our mothers body, our brother was in her purse and both our elder sister and I sat upon our mothers bed in shock and wonderment after witnessing our mothers passing. Neither of us were even in the mood for going through her passed after our brother asked us to see if there was any money in it and when we told him so he replied, "Mama gave me a job and I'm going to do it". A couple days later, same thing, my brother and his daughters mother walk past my Dad without speaking and our elder sister sits across from my father stating, don't worry he's not going to kick you out." When they all left, my father asked me why did she say that and I truly did not have an answer for him. He sat there quietly. I could tell it was ripping him up inside that Mama just passed on and my father was a man of all men and as always held it inside but did what he knew to do to take care of the home. My father was locked out of his home and was made to come live with me. I am my father's only biological child. My mother had a separate trust from my father as she was sole owner of the property that she and my father shared responsibility since they re-united in 1963. My siblings father bought the house with a GI-Bill along with a couple thousand from our maternal grandmother back in '57. Their father and our mother split up in '61 and my mother went searching for my father with her three children as they were young loves, predating my siblings father. They soon reunited and my Dad moved into the home and began taking care of things but my parents weren't legally married until I was eight years old in 1980 and when the house was paid off so when my father asked me to petition the trust for his legal spousal rights he had no rights. My father was never interested in the house, in fact he told me he helped our mother a many a day with the mortgage payments. He just taught us to be upstanding human beings, fished, camped, fixed up Volkswagens for everybody in the family and gardened for us to all have fresh food to eat from the ground. My siblings father passed away and left all of his legacy to his new wife's children leaving my sister and two brothers nothing. This has always been a sore spot for all of them so I am fully aware as to why they guarded the property/inheritance that belonged to our mother as they have but its still no excuse locking my father out. My uncle instructed me to change the locks first because they came in disturbing my fathers quiet enjoyment and that is putting it mildly. The youngest boy has a very volatile and destructive nature about him and he is easily triggered and has a really bad temper. We all walked on eggshells around him for years and my mother, even though she knew his character and behavior left him as trustee over her trust which clearly stated that her estate be split equally. She trusted his daughters mother as she admired her administrative skills and for informing her about beginning forming a trust back in 2003. He and I had an argument and it got physical after he was going into our mothers underwear drawer and I told him it did not look right and that should be for my sister and I to do. Furthermore, I asked him why was my father not allowed to be in the room to go through her things since after all, our mother was his wife. He asked me why couldn't I just cooperate and I told him I know when I smelled BS. When our mother was still alive, I asked my brother for a copy of the trust while our mother was in hospice in our family home. I am glad I did that or I would have never been able to read what I did. My father never got to read the trust and did not know what her wishes were. She prepared it in 2004-2005 having my Dad's brother, my mother's cousin and my brother's daughter. Again, my father was never given the liberty to read it or have it read to him. Since my eldest daughter always spent nights and practically lived with my parents to take care of them, running errands, banking, grocery shopping and taking them on outings when no one else would, even myself, (I lived in another state, and had two school aged youth at the time). Prior to that when we lived near my parents my children and I were always there. Our mother left my daughter as a sub-beneficiary stating that if one of her children transition that my daughter receive their inheritance. This upset all of my siblings, especially my brother who was left fiduciary and he expressed it at one of the two family meetings we managed to have. He questioned why our mother did not leave anything else for his children but the answer was clear. No one ever came to see about our mother and my father other than my daughter. My father obtained legal representation, an attorney who dealt with family estate matters and my brother obtained a law office full of bulldogs that basically ate my father's case up, my Dad lost and they even lied saying that my father abandoned his things at the home and we even went there to obtain his things with family witnesses and the sheriff and all my brother allowed out of the house was my Dads wheelchair and the Sheriff informed us that it was a civil matter and although it was really bad what my brother was doing to my Dad, he had to authority in the situation. To put it plainly, my brother took a hard money loan out, bought the family house and paid out my other brother and our sister but not me. I am asking for assistance to raise funds for an attorney for my inheritance. I appreciate whatever denomination that I am blessed with as this has been one of the worst storms of my life. I watched my father die in the hospital as he caught COVID and was not even able to grieve properly after losing his wife it made him weak. For all that loved and adored my father agree if he were allowed to stay in his familiar surroundings he would have still been on the Earth. After our mother transitioned my father and I prepared his trust and had it notarized. He had many things in the home including family photos that have nothing to do with my siblings, as well as vehicles, clothes and artifacts that were passed down to him from great grandparents. Now that both my parents have transcended I of course spiritually stay connected. My cousin encouraged me to apply on this site and tell of this occurrence because he could not stand to see me lose out and lose so much of our family history that my father held that my siblings now hold. It was truly not about the money or the house as they tried to make it sound. I just walked away but now I feel it is more the principal of the matter.
Thank you for reading and again, appreciate your support.
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