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Dinero & My Wallet - Shakespearean Tragedy

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To start, it weighs deeply on my heart that I can't be the one to help the people on here in need. Perhaps one day that will change after I've conquered some of my own obstacles.

A wise man once said that you should always be laughing - even when you're sad - because when you're sad is when you need to be laughing the most.

In the rough style of Shakespeare, I give you a short parody of a scene from Romeo and Juliet.

O Dinero, Dinero! Wherefore art thou Dinero?
Deny my misfortune and resist my bank.
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my friend.
And I'll no longer be a poor soul.

'Tis but my credit that is my enemy.
Thou art thyself, though not as broke.
What's money? It is nor leather, nor plastic,
Nor vinyl, nor polyester, nor any other part
Belonging to a billfold.

O, be some other currency!
What's in a coin? That which we call a greenback, by any other word would spend as sweet.
So Dinero would, were it not Dinero called,
Retain the credit score protection which it bestows without that title.

Dinero, doff some change,
And for that change, which is a small part of thee
Take all my sorrow.

O, Dinero, Dinero, why do you have to be Dinero?
Forget about your account and change your owner.
Or else, if you won't change your owner, just swear you'll look for me and I'll stop being broke.

It's only my bank statement that's my enemy.
You'd still be valuable if you stopped being a dollar.
What's a dollar anyway?
It isn't an Equifax, an Experian, a Transunion, a FICO, or any other part of a credit score.
Oh, be some other name!
What does a name mean?
The thing we call moolah would spend just as sweet if we called it by another name.
Dinero would be just as helpful even if it wasn't called Dinero.
Dinero, lose your scarcity.
Trade in your rarity - which really has nothing to do with you - and take all my bills in exchange.

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