Please help me so I can help others:
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I have potential to do great things and help a lot of people if I could just find the right support to get started properly. I'd be a good investment for anyone who believed in me. I have a very powerful story to tell and I’d like to make a philanthropic documentary about my life. With that I’d like to create charities and organizations to help people by using the proceeds from this documentary.
An ideal situation would be having the ability to get in touch with some of the best professionals in the industry including psychologists with particular specializations (such as “Ramani Durvasula”), ghostwriters, film producers/directors, or most importantly *legal help*.
If I could somehow gather the funds and a trustworthy team of people to help me make my ideas become a reality, I would dedicate my life to making a positive difference in the world.
My brief history:
I ran away from home at 16yrs old to escape a horrible situation. My mother and sister were very abusive. I was a victim of munchausen-by-proxy and practically grew up in hospitals for illnesses I never had. (Many stories there) My mother “accidentally overdosed me” at times and I never realized I was experiencing withdrawal symptoms as a child. I experienced severe narcissistic abuse and suffered from body dysmorphia etc. I left home at 16yrs old after graduating high school early (I was homeschooled). I was temporarily homeless and living in shelters in downtown Los Angeles. I studied automotive technology and began working multiple jobs at a young age. I lived in south central Los Angeles (a whole other story) I then got married for survival to my husband, a covert narcissist, to escape the previous situation. My husband supported me financially. I stayed married to my husband for 20yrs in captivity, but maintained my happiness and inner peace through raising my children and my artwork. My children successfully went off to college and I subsequently left my marriage to pursue my dreams.
My goal was to create a documentary about my struggles to help people, but I knew I first had to generate a source of income, so I worked hard toward earning a real estate license. I am now a licensed commercial realtor in Los Angeles (in training, making $0 income) with a streetwear clothing store in the fashion district also making $0 income. I worked hard earning my real estate license and getting to this point, but due to my past narcissistic abuse I am finding it impossible to succeed any further beyond this. I’ve now realized how crucial social relationships are for success, particularly in the real estate industry, and unfortunately for me at this point I have not figured out how to successfully interact with people without falling victim to more narcissistic abuse. I realize I might require counseling to properly learn how to navigate my way through social situations before I could even begin to build a successful career in any field, let alone real estate. I was hoping I could just become successful as a result of working really hard, but the longer I ignore the root of my problem, the longer I allow myself to fall deeper into debt as the time passes. I’m a very hard worker but I am socially impaired. I cannot survive social situations alone. I believe I would thrive with proper reliable legal protection to guide me or prevent me from negative situations.
(For example, I had a medical malpractice case where I had gotten a staph infection and almost died after a doctor was negligent and untruthful. I was bedridden for 6 months but couldn't find anyone to help me examine my case)
(When I signed my lease contact for my store, I hired an attorney to protect me during the signing. The attorney took my $3000 and disappeared. The landlord subsequently scammed me because I was unprotected and didn’t understand the lease agreement. Now I can’t afford my store rent because I didn’t understand the contract. I am now losing my store as a result of this misunderstanding. I can’t find anyone to help me reprimand the attorney either.) The landlord has since been patient with me because he realizes I’m a good person, but business is still business, and he wants his money. I accept that I’ve been scammed multiple times but I clearly can’t survive in the real world without some type of protection or help, even if only moral support.
I am completely alone. My husband no longer supports me financially since I’ve left him. I am alone without any source of income. The sources of income I’ve tried to generate (real estate and my store) have only costed me money and placed me in serious debt.
My current financial situation is at its worse and declining very quickly. I’m divorcing from a narcissistic abuse relationship and living alone for the first time. My six children are mostly grown and off to college. I am in the process of losing my store. (I’m an artist with a clothing store and brand of eccentric hair) I never had bad credit before but I’m now in serious debt and growing due to lack of income.
I’ve only recently discovered what narcissistic abuse is, and am barely beginning to understand it. After being in captivity for so long and now being freshly thrust into the real world alone with no legal protection or anyone I can rely on, I am finding myself falling deeper into problems that I cannot resolve. I need assistance. I’m having trouble prioritizing lately because I’m overwhelmed with so many emergency situations at once. I feel in panic mode 24/7. I don’t drink (never have) I don’t use drugs (never have) I don’t smoke and have never been in trouble with the law. I’m a good person. I have decent morals. I haven’t figured out my physical appearance yet because I’m still struggling with body dysmorphia. I am aware of the fact that I look unusual to people, I’m just not clear on how to fix that yet. But that’s just another portion of my discovery process.
The end goal:
Everyone has an extraordinary talent. My talent is creativity. I believe I can do great things with my ideas. I’d like to create a documentary or television show utilizing my life’s circumstances and becoming an advocate or spokesperson to show people how to turn negative situations into positive. I’d like to generate more effective forms of assistance for people like myself. I’d like to document my process of overcoming my own struggles with narcissistic abuse, munchausen-by-proxy, and body dysmorphia, and share it with the world in a positive and creative way. I’d also like to incorporate my artwork into the project by utilizing it as donation mediums for these charities and organizations.
Another future goal would be gathering enough funds to salvage the graffiti towers in Los Angeles (Oceanwide Plaza) and turning it into a community center, but that’s getting ahead of myself. For now I’m just grateful someone is taking the time to read this. That alone has given me support, so Thank you 🙏
After contacting multiple self-help hotlines, I was told, “No one is going to help you for FREE”… My research lately has taught me I either needed better health insurance or a lot of money to get the type of help I require. (Both of which I do not have) But I haven’t given up yet. I am now here on this site doing something I never thought I’d do. I am asking for financial help to get started. I think the reason why I feel ok about this is because I know in my heart I intend to do good things with it. I have good intentions and I know I can help a lot of people if I can just get started. I wish to surround myself with positive people. I know they exist out there, I just haven’t encountered them yet because I’m still too afraid to socialize until I can do it productively and safely. Someone please believe in me and help me so I can help others. Thank you kindly, even if only for reading this long page I’ve written. Your time is greatly appreciated 🙏 |
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