Suicide almost feeling like my last and only option
|
 |
|
| |
Hi
I don't even know where to begin with a request like this, nor where I begin to describe all of my problems that has put me in this situations to begin with but i'll try my best.
I´m a 32 year old man who lives alone in a city in Northern Sweden and I've been having a really rough battle with depression for the last 8 years or so.
Working, working out or just socialising got harder and harder after each passing year.
Especially the last few years has just been a complete void where I've desperately been asking for help from the nearby psychiatric hospital with my spiralling suicidal thoughts and depression.
Unfortunately for me, the several anti-depressants hasn't worked or helped at all and the hospital just doesn't seem to prioritize me cause I haven't done any actual physical attempts of suicide yet.
On a personal level I really do try my hardest to fight the depression with constant walks, going to the gym every other day and fighting to get that hard earned dopamine, but it's almost all for nothing since my depression still just gets worse and worse.
So to the money-problem.
Since I haven't been able to seriously work full time in years due to severe tiredness, insomnia and panic attacks. My economy has always been very limited.
But thanks to a little bit of sickness compensation money, the little bit of work I've been able to manage and some small loans I've been making barely enough money to live a somewhat normal life and pay my medical bills.
I'm currently sitting at a debt at about 30.000 euros after some bad loan decisions and years of not generating enough money.
It has come to a point where interests are getting too high for me to pay and I have absolutely nowhere left to borrow money from for other life expenses.
I'm getting desperate and feel like suicide might very soon be one of the last options for a hopelessly depressed 32 year old like me.
I can't get new glasses (which i need cause my eye sight is getting worse) and I'm very soon not gonna be able to pay of my loans on a monthly basis due to increasing interests, I haven't been to the dentist in 10 years cause I'm terrified of what that bill might cost and I absolutely can't do any travelling or stuff with my friends which they are constantly talking about.
What am I asking for?
I'm just desperately asking for a little bit of help to pay of some of my loans for a "fresh start" economically. Those 30.000 Euros of loans I have weighs like a mountain on my shoulders and I can't do anything about it atm due to this ever growing depression and tiredness.
So I sincerely beg to anyone out there for help, just a little bit of help to pay of some of my loans cause they are quite frankly, literally killing me right now.
Thanks to anyone for reading through all of this, I wish you the very best of day just for taking your time listening to all of this. So big thank you just for that.
paypal.me/kenny910113 |
|
|
|
